Juice Box

So I just saw a guy wearing a trench coat and a baseball cap (which is weird enough), drinking out of a juice box…A JUICE BOX! A grown man, walking down the street, drinking out of a juice box.
First of all, what would posses someone to wear a trench coat in May, rain or no rain (Weather Men are fucking stupid by the way. It was supposed to pour today. Instead, it’s muggy and sunny)?
Secondly, after deciding to don a trench coat, why would you put a baseball cap on? Why not a fedora? Why not go hatless? But a baseball cap, c’mon. Ever think that walking around on a sunny day wearing a trench coat and a baseball cap people might think that you look like you should be hanging out near an elementary school? And what’s with the juice box? What man, above the age of four, walks around with a juice box? Honestly, if I had walked by a playground and saw this guy just staring at the kids on the jungle gym, sipping his cran-apple juice, I wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised…