Land Manatees

Last night I was able to witness a Land Manatee, in her natural habitat – a Mexican Cantina, shovel fajitas in her mouth like the beef was from the last cow on earth. I had been trying to enjoy a wonderful evening, sitting outside while working up a decent buzz and although quite repulsed, I was unable to turn away. (Don’t get me wrong, I think food is awesome, I enjoy cooking and being cooked for; however, I have something in my brain that tells me “maybe you should draw the line at two cupcakes, whadda ya think?”) Like being stuck in traffic next to a train wreck; complete with twisted metal, shattered glass and broken limbs I was appalled, but unable to turn away, amazed that she was able to carry on a conversation with her companion, while skewering hunks of beef, mounds of guacamole and epic proportions of sour cream, rice and cheese, folding these into an unsuspecting tortilla and forcing the entire atrocious amalgam into her maw. Salsa? No thanks. Lettuce? No thanks. More sour cream? Absolutely! I tried to tough it out as long as I could, but after about fifteen minutes I went back inside just happy I didn’t catch her at a McDonald’s.